Who are you as a blogger? What are your goals for your blog? What type of relationship do you want with with your readers? Do you want to be more than just a blogger? Where do you stand as far as other bloggers blogging on the same topic?
These are questions that have honestly plagued me over the past few months. I struggle with finding my blogger identity. I even wonder if there is such thing or if it's some type of standard I've created in my head?
There are some things I know for sure... I will not change my blogging style, content, or anything about my blog that makes it what it is now. It is also clear to me that my blog is very different from many other bloggers.
I love the Central Florida Beauty Bloggers group I belong to, but I can't help but feel out of place at times. I know many of the bloggers there who are very successful, professional, passionate and have amazing long-term goals to really be that go-between person between the consumer and the beauty industry. They're amazing bloggers who I really see becoming successful figures in not only the blogging community, but the beauty industry too. Heck, they're already successful in that!
That's not me though. That's not what I want. I know I have the respect from my readers. You all are amazingly supportive of me, and continue to inspire and motivate me to keep doing what I'm doing. I am thankful for that. I often feel while I connect with my readers, that I do not fit in with other bloggers. I do not feel that other bloggers really see me as serious or really understand me as a blogger. It is 100% possible I do this to myself. Perhaps I alienate myself on purpose from other bloggers because I assume they don't think I'm worthy or good enough because I have a different style of blogging? I don't know, but I feel very outside of the blogger world.
I see myself as a casual blogger. I hate using the word casual sometimes, because I'm scared that maybe translated as lazy or uncommitted. I work very hard on my blog, and dedicate a lot of my time to it. It maybe casual as far as content, and how I relate to my readers, but I do take it seriously. My favorite thing about my blog is the freedom I feel to be myself. I see my ability to connect with people and relate to people on a level I never could imagine. I've said it before, but I could be blogging about caterpillars and it is all the same to me. It's just nail polish is how I found a way to connect with you all--a very beautiful, colorful, and sparkly way! I love nail polish, and honestly I can't see myself blogging about something else.
What are my goals? I have a hard time defining this, and it needs work. I really would like to continue to use this medium of nail polish and combine it with what moves me which is relating, sharing, and connecting with people. This blog in many cases is therapeutic for me. It's been a way for me to share my insecurities and struggles with you all, and in turn find peace and healing for myself. It has been a place where many of you have been able to find some strength and healing for yourselves. When I get comments, emails, and message from you all saying that my posts have helped you or made you feel better about yourself that means the world to me. That's my goal, as someone who has felt insecure and alone for a good portion of my life, to know that I helped someone feel a little more understood or appreciated is the biggest reward this blog has given me.
I'd like to merge the beauty world with empowerment, self esteem, and confidence for the average woman being myself an average woman. I know there are many authority figures or companies who do the same thing, but I'm an average Joe. I'm not sure what this will look like for my blog in the future. I'm not sure how to get it there either. That's up to me to figure out. What does that make me as a blogger? I don't know I know I'm different, but I also want to be. I chose to be. I still get tripped up on my identity as blogger, and I wonder if I'm respected or appreciated by other bloggers? I wonder if other bloggers get me, my mission, and my passion?
Just through writing this post I'm beginning to see that this idea of a blogger identity is just another form of self sabotage. It's another thing that probably myself, and other bloggers out there put upon ourselves that make us feel inferior and insecure. It keeps us stuck and makes us question ourselves. Does this mean it won't bother me again? No, it will. It's real, and as strong as I am, I still get tripped up by the same things over and over. It honestly takes me writing and sharing these thoughts to be able to process it and start to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
I am a different blogger. I may not fit in with other beauty bloggers as far as their goals for their blog. That's ok though, and honestly I'd never want to be anything else than who I am. It's conflicting wanting to feel a part of something, but wanting your independence too isn't it? I'll figure it out though. I always seem to manage.
Have you struggled with the idea of your "blogger identity" or if you're not a blogger have experienced similar identity struggles?
Share your experiences in the comments.
Happy Tuesday
