A little over a week ago I posted this post in regards to feeling on the outside of the blogging community because I feel like I have a different blogging style than most. I wanted to use this post to share an update what I've done and how I've been feeling since then.
I think something I've always struggled with in life is fitting in. As an adult, I've grown out the idea of feeling a need to be popular or special, but I want to feel that sense of belonging. I mentioned in my last post that I don't feel like I really belong in this community. I have felt you have to make an effort to really be a part of the nail community, but I'm starting to realize I don't think that effort is worth it to me, and I don't think it's really needed for my sake.
I think a good way to get involved in the community is to be involved in Facebook groups. While I like indies I wouldn't say I'm really a fangirl over brands, so those groups while I'm in some to keep up with updates I'm not involved in otherwise. Then there are groups that are really focused on the going on's and gossip in the community. I think some of these topics in these groups are very useful and beneficial to the community. These groups do tend to get immersed with negativity though and that becomes the forefront.
There is nothing wrong with groups like this, but I think when it comes to a hobby I enjoy and want to do for fun, these groups can start to tarnish that experience for me. I have also felt conflicted because sometimes people in the community hold you to standard to be "in the know" and you can be viewed negatively if you're unknowingly supporting a brand that has some drama because you didn't make an effort to be in the know. There are so many unspoken rules it seems in this community and now it seems like there are daily multiple dramas and it's exhausting. It's draining and it has been killing my joy. Again, I'm not saying groups like this are bad, but right now I don't think they're very good for me.
I asked in Hobby Polish Bloggers last week if anyone else felt this way about negativity in the community, and I was truly surprised a number of people felt similarly. I've been so immersed in this idea that the entire nail community is representative of the people involved in certain groups and in order to belong you need to be involved as well. I felt some of the people regularly involved in these groups were setting the standard for the community based on their opinions as if they were their authority. I felt intimated by a lot of people and worried if I openly expressed a different viewpoint I would be shunned or frowned upon. I don't think this is really how it is, but that's how it felt for me. I learned this really isn't that case at all. There are many nail bloggers who stay out of groups and comfortably do their own thing. I felt very relieved and it dawned on me that I've been putting expectations on myself that were unnecessary and truly suffocating.
That's when I decided to disconnect. I will say I have not actually left some of these groups, but I removed them from my feed and from favorites. I haven't felt compelled to check them either. The reason I stay in them is because there may come a time when I feel differently and can navigate my own blog life separately from what I feel are the expectations of the nail community. That time may come and I may try to re-evaluate that experience again.
Right now, the only group I'm really following is Hobby Polish Bloggers. I've cut out the negativity in my blogging life. It's been a week now and it's honestly I've noticed an immense difference in my mood and my experience. I feel a lot better and feel energized about blogging again. Yes, I'm in my own little world alone outside the blogging community right now, but I feel more like myself than I have in a long time. I feel free from feeling like I need approval from others and feel free to be myself.
I'm a really sensitive person, and a lot of people see this as a weakness, but I don't. My blog is very personal to me, and going into it with the intentions I had I'm going to be sensitive to negativity and the competitiveness that I think comes along with some bloggers. I think competitiveness in this field and building up your blog is completely fine if that it is your goal, but it's not mine. I need to sometimes remove myself from environments that feel that way to me to continue on the path I always wanted for myself with my blog. This blog is my baby and I need to realize I can continue it on my own terms.
Thank you all for your support and love throughout these years.
Have any of you had a similar experience to mine about a hobby or passion you have in your life? What did you do to help you refocus yourself so you can enjoy it again?
Happy Tuesday!
I think a good way to get involved in the community is to be involved in Facebook groups. While I like indies I wouldn't say I'm really a fangirl over brands, so those groups while I'm in some to keep up with updates I'm not involved in otherwise. Then there are groups that are really focused on the going on's and gossip in the community. I think some of these topics in these groups are very useful and beneficial to the community. These groups do tend to get immersed with negativity though and that becomes the forefront.
There is nothing wrong with groups like this, but I think when it comes to a hobby I enjoy and want to do for fun, these groups can start to tarnish that experience for me. I have also felt conflicted because sometimes people in the community hold you to standard to be "in the know" and you can be viewed negatively if you're unknowingly supporting a brand that has some drama because you didn't make an effort to be in the know. There are so many unspoken rules it seems in this community and now it seems like there are daily multiple dramas and it's exhausting. It's draining and it has been killing my joy. Again, I'm not saying groups like this are bad, but right now I don't think they're very good for me.
I asked in Hobby Polish Bloggers last week if anyone else felt this way about negativity in the community, and I was truly surprised a number of people felt similarly. I've been so immersed in this idea that the entire nail community is representative of the people involved in certain groups and in order to belong you need to be involved as well. I felt some of the people regularly involved in these groups were setting the standard for the community based on their opinions as if they were their authority. I felt intimated by a lot of people and worried if I openly expressed a different viewpoint I would be shunned or frowned upon. I don't think this is really how it is, but that's how it felt for me. I learned this really isn't that case at all. There are many nail bloggers who stay out of groups and comfortably do their own thing. I felt very relieved and it dawned on me that I've been putting expectations on myself that were unnecessary and truly suffocating.
That's when I decided to disconnect. I will say I have not actually left some of these groups, but I removed them from my feed and from favorites. I haven't felt compelled to check them either. The reason I stay in them is because there may come a time when I feel differently and can navigate my own blog life separately from what I feel are the expectations of the nail community. That time may come and I may try to re-evaluate that experience again.
Right now, the only group I'm really following is Hobby Polish Bloggers. I've cut out the negativity in my blogging life. It's been a week now and it's honestly I've noticed an immense difference in my mood and my experience. I feel a lot better and feel energized about blogging again. Yes, I'm in my own little world alone outside the blogging community right now, but I feel more like myself than I have in a long time. I feel free from feeling like I need approval from others and feel free to be myself.
I'm a really sensitive person, and a lot of people see this as a weakness, but I don't. My blog is very personal to me, and going into it with the intentions I had I'm going to be sensitive to negativity and the competitiveness that I think comes along with some bloggers. I think competitiveness in this field and building up your blog is completely fine if that it is your goal, but it's not mine. I need to sometimes remove myself from environments that feel that way to me to continue on the path I always wanted for myself with my blog. This blog is my baby and I need to realize I can continue it on my own terms.
Thank you all for your support and love throughout these years.
Have any of you had a similar experience to mine about a hobby or passion you have in your life? What did you do to help you refocus yourself so you can enjoy it again?
Happy Tuesday!
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